Lying is one of the most frowned upon yet widely incorporated tactics in social exchanges. According to a 2002 study by University of Massachusetts, 60% of people cannot have a 10-minute conversation without lying, not just once but on average 3 times. What does this experiment indicate about people, what compulses us to jeopardise our authenticity and intentionally mislead?
Throughout the wide variety of social exchanges we see seduction almost ubiquitously; with acquaintances attractive fallacies are sprinkled over experiences to generate a more captivating story, at work people servilely engage in customer service with intent of endorsing purchases, romantically some alter their personality to befit the expectation of others. It appears there’s a desire within us to propagate a certain image of who we believe we are, yet, for many, dishonesty overrides veracity and they actually lack integrity.
There is an undoubtable craving for humans to be liked, to feel their importance justified by others. The first people privy to our beguiling are our family and earliest friends, these witnesses over time begin to recognize traits in our behaviour and can identify when skulduggery is at play. We too will come to notice how some of our closest are capable swindlers whilst others, typically because of infrequent use, are more obvious when attempting to deceive.
The most common stage for deception is discourse, in particular during the exchange of anecdotes. It’s not unusual for individuals to sensationalize a story with fragments of fantasy, engineering a thicker plot to fascinate their audience into the tale’s acclamation. This method makes people feel dignified, cunning behaviour accommodated as long as the ego is pampered.
People regularly indulging their fantasises often forget how events actually transpired, fable and truth fusing an inseparable hybrid. When they recollect these occurrences portions of the narrative are rendered to fit their ideals, seamlessly altering the original memory.
In social settings some tend to embellish feelings towards different topics, subjects such as sport, art, music, politics, are recurrently used for people to find mutual ground with others. By portraying zeal individuals can be submersed into a group, changing their skin in hope of finding a place within the social hierarchy. The ache to be noticed can sanction a violation of truth; our childish yearning for affirmation still loiters in adulthood, tailoring oneself to fit a setting can provide validation.
The working environment sees a variety of personalities coalescing together to achieve a common goal, a goal typically requiring relationships to be built not only with clients but also colleagues.
At many work places colleagues consciously hide parts of their nature to appear appropriate for the environment, inducing an image which may not necessarily correspond with who they are. This can be advantageous to gain access into the occupational hierarchy, at times we must adjust to a particular setting if it provides the opportunity to extend ourselves.
To connect with a client or customer a manipulation of character is often at play; the employee adapts to appear cordial, flaunting flattery and lulling their target into a sense of amicability. The disposition presented by the worker isn’t completely legitimate, however, in exhibiting themselves as thus they improve chances of attaining the desired result.
When a worker is effective in their employment they are rewarded with acclaim and advantages, yet, one must be wary to keep hubris in check. It is attractive to be capable but self-indulgence is insufferable, contempt brews easily when an atmosphere is filled with supposed saliency.
Seduction is an essential element in romantic entanglement, it is the friction required to produce a spark. As children our first rush of lust comes in the form of a crush, blood surges as ingenious ways are envisioned to impress those held in limerence. It’s intriguing as youngsters to see our instincts draw us to people without full comprehension of why; growing older these reasons become apparent.
Heading out on a date or in search of suitors one’s appearance is consciously constructed, adorning themselves with intention to draw admiration from their target audience. It’s interesting to note that in the animal kingdom birds operate in a similar fashion, however, it is typically the males who extravagantly decorate themselves where as in society it’s more commonly seen in females.
The 21st century has spawned a prime example of animalistic enticement, twerking. Examining the phenomenon from an ethnological perspective, the observer would see a female shaking their posterior and presenting herself to the surrounding males. With attention engaged the males, filled with testosterone, implement action to secure the rotating rump, often engaging in territorial battles for it’s acquisition.
Successfully seducing another validates our desire for appreciation, it excels self-efficacy making an individual feel competent in at least one facet of their life.
There are many strategies of romantic seduction, yet, issues arise when words and actions aren’t consistent. The disingenuous representation of feelings can facilitate an inhospitable environment and manufacture genuine hurt. Although we all desire to successfully seduce, it should not be done at the expensive of integrity.
Seduction is a part of human nature; our craving to be accepted leads us to portray the best version of ourselves, even if portions are fictional. Throughout life we will encounter many experiences of both being charmed and charming others. It’s wise to remember that others and ourselves are often not displaying who we actually are, but rather whom we believe the situation requires. We are all seducers and liars, but by becoming conscious to limit falsehoods an authentic existence can be progressively refined.
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